Only few days separate us from 2014!
Oh god I can’t believe I’m writing this! I can’t believe this year is finally over!
It’s probably the perfect days to write, I was thinking last week about what I’m going to write, and it was shocking not finding enough words to complete this decent post..
I don’t know if it’s true that sometimes we run out of words but I decided not to prettify what happened through this year, I decided to say it using the ugliest words I could find because it’s the only way to get rid of it.. I guess.. I guess when we realize how awful and ugly we felt through a specific time in our lives we decide to move on and forget the reason behind all of this, we decide to grow up and realize that it’s okay to never have what we thought we would never lose.
I am neither ashamed nor do I feel sorry or blame myself for anything that I have done as I went into this dark tunnel with the best thoughts, feelings, values and intentions and left with the same.
I have seen, felt and experienced the emotions for the first time in my life, I had days that I slept and every muscle in my body wished that I never wake up again, I cried my eyes out for hours, I was weak.. very weak, It will never be easy to forget each and everyday of this year.
My only regret is that I lost bits and pieces of my soul, I have paid the heaviest price of being honest , I have paid the heaviest price of being dreamy and unrealistic, I have Paid the heaviest price of being .. Me.
I know it made me a totally different person, I know this year has changed me and the past 17 years of my life didn’t, I believe in god and god has a plane, things don’t just happen, there is a reason I went through it all, God has chosen the best scenario for me, there is a reason I’m taking this path, today.
Do you know me? Like really know me, Dear Reader?
If not I will tell you this, I have always been the reason behind my father and mother’s smile, I was their success in life.. I have always been the reason why they believed that there is a better tomorrow, and through this year, I was nothing but a pain source.
Everyone I asked to stay, Left.
Everyone I never expected to be there, was there.
It was a year full of events!! Huge ones, and to be honest they were not all that bad, starting this blog you’re looking at right now. The dream that happened accidentally, And although I did stuff I said I wouldn’t do like for example when I said I would never ever stop, but I did. I promised I would always keep it simple, but somewhere along the road, it got very complicated!! and it did bring me down. I said I’d always write to inspire others, but sometimes all I did was write to find myself, to inspire myself.
What I’m really thankful for this year is, my relationship with some important people is back as it was for the past 17 years! ( I know you’re reading, I love you and happy new year :D)
Another thing is, I got to join enactus, it was something I found when I wasn’t looking, enactus gave me the power to dream big, enactus taught me that my problems are not the biggest issues in life, I owe this place, I’ll do everything to keep this place as great as it is right now.
Let’s draw an image to say goodbye to this year together, to promise to never look back and never be ashamed of our own wounds, to stand up and take whatever comes on our way, to be proud that we made it till here, to be proud that You’re You and I’m Me, And Believe me All the people you met, the ones you lost, The ones that hurt you and the ones who lied, they all did it for a greater purpose..
Life is a journey, not always a beautiful one, when I started my journey with my dream, we were at opposite ends of a bridge.. We started walking towards each other and it was an amazing walk until midway when we hit a storm.. sometimes I saw the dark clouds, stopped in my tracks, started walking back and almost convinced myself that the sun will never shine again.. and sometimes I kept walking in the rain expecting it to stop sometime soon, expecting the sun to shine again even though I knew I might fall sick.. I thought I will fight it all and go the extra mile to accomplish my dream, I was tired to cross the bridge and because the other end was always too far I never got to reach it, I fell but that’s not the end of the world, it was too late to stand up again and reach the finish line this year but it’s not too late next year! so I decided to have another dream to look for something special deep inside me, to be Proudly me!
2014! I’m here! Standing right here not dwelling on the past! ready to have a new journey! Ready to fight !
Lets all hope for the best. Let’s hope for a better year, a year full of joy and happiness.
I only hope that God will make my coming year a more promising one, a year that would teach me so much. A year full of new adventures.
A year that would show me, a new me. just like this one did..
Good night READERS!! It has been a pleasure writing to you for the past 6 months
P.S: I will be needing your prayers for the coming three weeks, Finals !! :’D
Shrouq Tarek 
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